He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
