He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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