i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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