So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.