so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.