evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.