I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
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someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.