my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
When are your genitals available?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
