please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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