She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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