Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
