Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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