why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
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I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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