Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
