Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
