they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You can't just leave with hair like that
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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