dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
