I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Green mimosas i think yes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize