Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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