Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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