I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
