My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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