This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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