yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
