I'm going to jail i love you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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