Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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