plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
