im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize