Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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