sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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