she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
