just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
