i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
