I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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