Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
