reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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