Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
