Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you will always have a special place in my vag
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize