Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
this will be a night to untag.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
