Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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