she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.