The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night