Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I want you more than these girls want KFC
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
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Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
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The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.