I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why are you drunk at the library?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life