Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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