Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
