Nicole vs. Life
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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