Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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