I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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