no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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