She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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