Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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