stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Michael Bay diarrhea
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
