I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
