He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.