8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...