i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.