just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
