will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize