I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well I just put wine in my tea
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
