Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
