please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ketchup is God's man juice
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
