she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Come on in and take your pants off
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