He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
