yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
