Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
