im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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